


Things I'll Never Say

by kurama3173



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Crushes, Drunken Confessions, First Time, M/M, Pining, Time Skips, hot for teacher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-07 06:29:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5446622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurama3173/pseuds/kurama3173
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Third-year student Ukai Keishin arrives at the first volleyball practice of the year, only to find that their faculty advisor has retired, and a young new teacher has signed on in his place. Takeda Ittetsu is 23 and fresh out of college, starting his first year as a teacher at Karasuno high. Keishin falls for him immediately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unattainable

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will be in two segments! The first will be while Keishin in in high school, and the second will be a couple years in the future. Don't worry, there's no underage stuff in this fic.

Ukai Keishin was finally a third-year student at Karasuno high, and that meant starting his final season with the volleyball team. Starting today, there would be a whole new group of underclassmen, and apparently, a new faculty advisor. Not that the previous advisor had made much of an impact. He’d barely had to show his face, with how efficiently Coach Ukai handled everything. This new advisor would probably be just as uninvolved, whoever they were.

Keishin entered the gym after class was over, and his grandpa gave him a nod as he went over to greet Takinoue and Shimada. “So, you seen any of the first years yet?” Takinoue asked, shrugging his jacket off his shoulders.

“Nope,” Keishin replied, starting to stretch out his arms. “I heard a couple names, but that’s it.”

“I hear they’ve got a really good setter this year,” Shimada chimed in. “You’d better be on your toes, Ukai.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Keishin said, scowling. “Did you hear there’s a new advisor coming in?”

“Yeah, he’s the new Japanese Lit teacher,” said Takinoue. “Real young guy, I think this is his first year teaching.”

The door to the gym opened, and a short, bespectacled young man in a suit wandered in. He looked around for a moment before spotting Coach Ukai and running over to greet him. Keishin stared, dumbfounded. This was their new advisor? This was a _teacher?_ He barely looked older than him and his friends, but that wasn’t really what caught the setter’s attention.

Their new faculty advisor was positively stunning.

“Ukai, you awake in there?” Takinoue teased, jarring him out of his trance.

“Huh? Yes I’m awake,” he grumbled. Fuck. He looked away from the new teacher and back to his friends. “What do you want?”

“We’re lining up to start serving practice,” Shimada supplied. “And your grandpa is glaring at us. Come on, let’s go.” Keishin sighed and followed his friends to the baseline to start serving. He had to admit, it felt damn good to hit a volleyball again after the break. But he couldn’t help stealing glances at the gorgeous teacher chatting animatedly with his grandpa on the sidelines. At least this guy wouldn’t be around too much, that would be a hell of a distraction.

A few minutes into serving practice, Coach Ukai blew the whistle and called the team over. They crowded around the coach and the new advisor and sat down. “Welcome back,” Coach Ukai began. “And welcome to the incoming first years. This isn’t a club you just join for something to do after school, just so you know. This club takes hard work and dedication, and any less than that won’t cut it. But I look forward to having you all here.” Keishin barely heard his grandfather's speech. He'd heard it before, and his attention was elsewhere- chiefly on the small teacher, who was currently flipping through some booklet on volleyball positions. He had such big, soft eyes, and high cheekbones on a cute, round face. Keishin didn't care what his grandpa was saying, he just wanted to know this man's name.

"Also, this year as some of you know, Ishigaki-sensei has retired. We have a new advisor, so please treat him with respect," the coach continued, gesturing to the smaller man.

"Hello, my name is Takeda Ittetsu, and I am your advisor starting today," the teacher said with a smile. "I don't know much about volleyball yet, but I'll help the team however I can!" Takeda Ittetsu. That was his name... Keishin had a feeling that name would be on his mind more than most. 

"Keishin," his grandpa said, once again snapping him out of his thoughts. "Why don't you start off introducing yourself?" He nodded. 

"I'm Ukai Keishin, third year setter," he said, not sure whether he was supposed to be telling the new students or Takeda. But Takeda smiled right at him when he spoke, and if the first years were listening to him, he didn't care anymore. 

Once everyone had introduced themselves, practice began as always. Shimada was right, the new first year setter was talented, worryingly so. If he wanted to be a starting player again this year, he was going to have to work hard. But god, it was  _distracting_ having Takeda-sensei watch their practice. Every time the beautiful teacher looked his way, Ukai's heart squeezed, and he lost his concentration. He really, really hoped Takeda wouldn't be here for every practice... 

"Keishin, what's wrong with you?" his grandpa barked, prompting giggles from some of his teammates. "You're better than this, get your head into it!" 

"Yes sir," he replied through gritted teeth. He tried his best to focus on practicing, but he still wasn't on his game. Fucking hell. He'd made fun of his friends before for getting hung up on girls, but that was before he realized just how strong those feelings could smack people upside the head. He managed to get through practice without too much hounding from his grandfather, but he still wasn't satisfied with his performance when they wrapped up. 

"Ukai-kun, right?" Keishin turned, and his cheeks reddened when he saw who was calling him. Takeda walked over with a friendly smile, and extended his hand for Keishin to shake. 

"Uh... yeah," he said dumbly, taking Sensei's hand. It was so small and dainty for a guy's hand, and only had calluses where a pen would rest against his fingers. "What's up?"

"Coach Ukai-san told me a lot about you! It's good to meet you. I just want to get to know the team a little better, since I'm going to be working with you all this year."

"Oh man, I'm sorry for whatever he told you about me," Keishin grumbled. "I promise I'm not that bad." Takeda laughed, a bright, happy laugh that made Keishin's chest tighten. God, everything about him was so likable. There wasn't a single thing about him that was harsh or tough, but he still had a sense of masculinity to him. 

"Oh, psh, he didn't say anything bad about you," Takeda reassured him. "Anyway, have a good night, Ukai-kun!" The teacher patted him on the back, and Ukai desperately wished he wasn't so fucking sweaty. Realistically there was no way the man was going to be interested in a 17 year old high school boy, but... he still wanted to make the best impression he could. He sighed, and ran his hand over his short, buzzed hair before walking over to join his grandpa in preparing to walk home. 

"So, what do you think of the first years, Keishin?" Ikkei asked as they exited the gym. "I think they look pretty promising, don't you?"

"Yeah," he said absently. 

"I'm looking forward to having Takeda-san work with us as well. He wants to be much more involved than our last advisor, which will be a big help since we don't have a manager." Keishin swallowed. This would happen. 

"That's cool," he mumbled. 

"Do you not like him?" his grandpa asked, frowning. 

"No, I like him," Keishin said truthfully. "I'm just preoccupied thinking about that new setter. He's good." His grandpa seemed to buy that, thankfully.

"You'll have to do better than you did today if you want to beat him," the coach said seriously, and Keishin groaned. 

"Do you always have to be like this?" Ikkei smacked the back of his head. 

"Yes. I do." Keishin rolled his eyes, and rubbed his head. His grandpa was so much more likable in the off season. 

Ukai went to bed that night feeling restless and irritated. If Takeda was going to be significantly involved with the team, he was going to have to figure out a way to focus on the task at hand. He'd just never felt this way before, and it was throwing him for a loop. Sure, he'd had crushes here or there, or found people attractive, but nothing like this. Even just talking with Sensei today had gotten  his heart racing, his thoughts stalling, and warmth rushing to his cheeks. Why? He'd only met the man today. He didn't even know how old he was, though he looked like he could be a student himself. But when Keishin closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he saw that amicable, warm smile, and the teacher's soothing voice echoed in his head. Keishin was going to die. 

\---

Over the next few weeks, though it was frustrating having Takeda around being gorgeous all the time, Keishin managed to get his head back in the game. They had a practice match with Nekoma coming up, and everyone wanted to be on the top of their game for that. Nekoma's setter would be a senior this year too, and this was their last year to square off against each other and talk shit. But even though Keishin was back in the zone, his friends still noticed that he was acting strange. 

"Ukai, what's with you lately?" Mori asked him one day. "You seem on edge every practice, is your grandpa getting in your head?"

"No it's not him," Keishin snapped. "He doesn't scare me." That was a dirty lie. 

"What, then? You've had your starting spot challenged before, and you didn't act like this." 

"It's nothing, okay?" he grumbled. "Just drop it."

"I think Ukai's in love," Shimada sassed. Keishin scowled at him. 

"And what the fuck makes you think that?" he said sharply. "Who even has time for that?"

"You're distracted all the time, it makes sense," Mori hummed. "Is there a girl in your classes that's caught your eye? You can tell us." 

"No, there's not a damn girl, sod off," he sighed. "I'm fine, okay? I don't know what you guys are on about." He would like to tell his friends about this sort of thing, but if he told them his feelings were for their teacher, he worried they'd only laugh at him. Takeda was unattainable anyway, it's not like they could offer him any advice... He just needed to get over it, and move on with his life, find a way to ignore this whole problem. 

The issue with that though, was that Takeda was so  _nice_ to him. He'd bring him water after a tough practice, or cheer him on when he hit a killer serve, and even though that's how he treated everybody, Keishin felt so fucking special every time. He loved the excited smile that appeared on Sensei's face when he scored a point, and the encouraging words he had for Keishin on his bad days. He almost wished Takeda would stop being so thoughtful. It made it too easy to love him. 

\---

The practice match at Nekoma turned out to be Keishin's only match as a starter, before the new first year setter was given his position on the court. The day Coach Ukai announced the lineup, Keishin's friends tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to deal with them right then. He was crushed. He knew his grandpa wasn't supposed to be biased toward him because he was family, but fuck if he didn't feel a little betrayed. How was he going to face Naoi if they faced Nekoma at nationals? From the sidelines was how. He hurried home without waiting for his grandpa, not wanting to talk to him while he was hurt and on the verge of tears. 

"Keishin, welcome home," his mother greeted as he walked in the door. "Are you okay? Where's your grandpa?" 

"I'm fine, he's coming," Keishin mumbled. "He benched me for the inter-high." His mom patted him on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Keishin, I'm sorry," she said gently. "I'm sure you can get your spot back if you work hard."

"It's fine," he said, heading to his room. "I work till close tonight, right?"

"Yes, but if you want, you can have the night off-"

"No, I'll work it," he cut her off before closing his door. He sighed, and changed into regular clothes. Working in the store would at least keep his mind off how shitty he was feeling, probably. He headed downstairs and put on his apron, hoping nobody from the team came in tonight. A few texts came in from his friends, but he ignored them.

And then, and hour into his shift, Takeda opened the door. "Oh, Ukai-kun! Do you work here part time?" the teacher asked. Keishin sat up, and set his magazine down. 

"No, this is my family's store. It's my mom's family name," he explained. "What... can I get for you, sensei?"

"Oh, I just wanted to pick up some rice on my way home," Takeda said cheerfully. "I stayed a little late grading after practice." Keishin nodded, and led him over to the rice, gesturing to their selection. 

"You know, our last advisor barely came to practice or anything," he said. 

"Yes, well, I'm not one to do things halfheartedly," Takeda chuckled. "I don't know much about volleyball, but I'm having fun learning and spending time with the team."

"Mm," was Keishin's only reply. He followed the teacher back to the checkout counter once he'd selected a bag of rice, and started ringing him up. 

"Are you okay, Ukai-kun?" Sensei asked gently. 

"I'm great," Keishin said, handing Takeda his receipt. He didn't really want to talk about this. 

"You know, you are a very talented player, and Coach Ukai wouldn't have taken you off the starting lineup without careful consideration," Takeda said earnestly. Keishin blushed, and stared at him blankly. "I'm sure you'll still play in plenty of games, Ukai-kun." 

"I... yeah," he said, finally. "Thanks Sensei..." Takeda smiled at him again, and Keishin's heart melted. 

"Have a good night," the teacher said on his way out the door. 

"Y-you too sensei!" he said hurriedly. His cheeks flushed darker. Fuck, he was so lame. But he did feel a little bit better after that. And a little more hopelessly smitten. He finished his shift just as preoccupied as before, but now instead of thinking about how he hadn't made the cut for the inter-high, his thoughts were Takeda, Takeda, and more Takeda. He was so hopeless.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkward bby Keishin <3 it will be okay child


	2. Unbearable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karasuno goes to the inter-high, and has a weekend training camp.

The first match of the inter-high was against Wakutani Minami high, and Keishin didn’t see action for the whole first set. He stayed on the side with his teammates, his grandpa, and of course, Sensei. Standing on the side thankfully wasn’t as humiliating as he’d been imagining- the majority of the team was there after all, including Shimada and Uchizawa. It was still frustrating watching his teammates play without him, but the young setter pulled it off. The first set went to Karasuno, 25-22.

In the second set though, the rookie was obviously starting to tire, and he was making more mistakes. When the score hit 5-10, Coach Ukai handed Keishin a small sign marked ‘11’. He felt a surge of adrenaline as his underclassman came to the sideline, hell yes he was going to play!

“You can do it, Ukai-kun!” Takeda cheered, punching the air. Keishin flushed and gave him a thumbs up. How did a guy who barely knew volleyball have this much enthusiasm for it anyway? Sensei was a little ridiculous, but that only made him more adorable. _Get your head in the damn game_ , he reminded himself as he took his position. Mori grinned at him, and Keishin flashed him a hand signal indicating where he would toss.

He watched the serve fly over his head from behind him, and smirked as the opposing team just barely returned it. An easy chance ball was on its way back over the net, and Karasuno’s libero was already in position to send it to Keishin. He glanced to Mori to make sure he was in the right place, and set the ball to him, high and close to the net. Mori spiked straight down the line, past the block, and Keishin fist pumped as the ball hit the court. He was back, and he could hold his own on this court too.

The second set went slower than the first; Keishin was a consistent setter, but he was easier to read than the starting setter, and he couldn’t pull off feints worth a damn. His face betrayed every one of his emotions, so it was hard to look convincingly like he was making one move but then make another. At 18-18, Keishin was switched out again, and though he knew it was a good strategic move, he didn’t want to be done just yet. He returned to the sidelines with a sigh.

“Here,” Sensei said, handing him a water bottle. “Nice work out there.” Keishin took the bottle gratefully.

“Thanks Sensei,” he said. He was still a little out of breath, and he doubted he smelled great, but he was here to play after all. He doubted Takeda was put off… fuck, he had to stop thinking about that all the time. He drank from the bottle, and watched the game progress instead of watching Takeda walk back to his chair. There. He had this under control, he didn’t have to think about Sensei all the time.

But every time Karasuno scored, Takeda’s voice cut through all the other cheers. And when they scored the winning point, Keishin’s eyes weren’t on his teammates, but the reaction of his teacher. Sensei’s eyes were shining with pride, and he looked arguably happier than anyone else on the court. Watching him made Keishin feel warm and happy, his enthusiasm was infectious. But eventually he tore his eyes away from the teacher and joined his team in celebrating their 2-0 victory. This meant they got to go on to the next round, after all! 

The second match of the day was a blowout that saw Karasuno through to the third round, and even though Keishin only played part of that game too, he felt great at the end of the day. He returned home with his grandpa in high spirits, and headed to bed early after a much needed bath. Tomorrow they would face Dakekou, and if they won, probably Shiratorizawa in the final. 

 _Nice work out there._ Sensei's words echoed in his head, along with the memory of the kind smile that accompanied them. It was a simple compliment, and Keishin knew he shouldn't get so worked up over silly stuff like that, but any kind of attention from Takeda turned his knees to jelly and got his heart pounding. He rolled over, suddenly feeling frustrated. It ached, knowing he would never kiss Sensei, or feel his arms around him, or even make the teacher aware of how he felt. It wasn't fair. His brain should have known better, dammit, why did he have to go and fall for someone so out of reach? 

Keishin rolled over and tried to go back to thinking about the inter-high, or his homework, or anything that wasn't Takeda Ittetsu, but it was no use. His young, foolish heart was set on something it couldn't have, and Keishin had to deal with the fallout.

\---

The cheering that echoed in the gym when Karasuno beat Datekou was deafening, but their celebration was short lived. Shiratorizawa was in top form during the final, and Karasuno was soundly defeated in three sets, 16-25, 23-25, 18-25. Dejected, the team returned to the bus, consoling each other with talk of the spring tournament they would enter in a few months. 

"You worked hard," Takeda said once they were on the bus. "You should be proud of the work you've done, and look forward to the future. Don't dwell on what could have been, or what you could have done differently. What's done is done, and the only thing we can change is the future." The team murmured their thanks, and Shimada leaned over to whisper in Keishin's ear.

"You can really tell he's a literature guy," he remarked. 

"Don't make fun of him, he's trying to help," Keishin said crossly. He reddened when Shimada's eyebrow rose. 

"Touchy," Shimada said. He looked suspicious, but he didn't push the issue, thankfully. Keishin had a feeling he'd hear about this later, though. His friends were annoying that way.

\---

He was exactly fucking right, he found out. Shimada and Uchizawa cornered him after practice one evening and Keishin knew he was in for it.

"Ukai, we can't help but notice you act strange around Takeda-sensei," Uchizawa pointed out. "Do you know him from somewhere? You always seem on edge around him." Keishin glowered at them. This was not a conversation he wanted to have, period. 

"I don't know him from anywhere but here," he said irritably. "Can I go home now?" Being found out and then humiliated by his friends wasn't his idea of a great time.

"Ukai," Shimada sighed. "If something is bugging you, you can tell us, that's what friends are for." Keishin pursed his lips. Could he tell then though? Could he put himself out there like that? And what's more, could he run the risk of letting the news spread, and possibly reach Takeda? Fuck no, there was no way he was telling them.

"Nothing is bugging me," he huffed. "You're not gonna be able to help me with jack shit, so give it a rest, okay?" They looked at him with concern, but didn't press him further. 

"Okay," Uchizawa acquiesced. "See you around, Ukai." 

"Yeah, later guys," he mumbled, walking towards home. Fuck. If those two were onto him, then Takeda could be too. After all, it was Takeda he was nervous around. The teacher could know very well by now what his awkward speech and wayward glances meant. Ugh, having a crush was an absolute nightmare. 

\--- 

A few weeks after their defeat at the inter-high, Coach Ukai announced a weekend training camp. This seemed to lift the team's spirits; training camps were hard work but they were fun, and good for camaraderie. 

The following weekend everybody arrived at the lodge, including Takeda. Apparently he would also be staying over with them, to Keishin's surprise. Dammit, this was supposed to be a way to get away and bond with his teammates, but how was he going to do that when Takeda was right down the hall, sharing a space with them? How would Sensei sleep, would he wear pajamas? Just boxers and a t-shirt? Keishin cursed under his breath as set his bag down in the corner. Takeda would even be bathing here, what if he got the chance to see him in a towel? Fuck, no, he wasn't thinking about that. He was here for the team. 

"Oi, Ukai," Takinoue called from the other end of the room. "You coming to dinner?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he sighed, following his friends out of the room. The food did smell wonderful. Dinner with the team should be a nice distraction from his invasive thoughts. When they arrived in the dining hall, they found a feast waiting for them. There was seafood, meat, rice, vegetables, several kinds of tea, it was amazing. Keishin happily sat down with his fellow third years, and started piling food onto his plate. 

Takeda and his grandpa were nowhere to be seen for most of the meal, and for once Keishin was able to relax, forget his troubles, and just have a good time with his friends and teammates. This was the best part of being in the volleyball club- the will to work for a common goal brought everybody together and formed friendships that would probably last for years. 

The team returned to the room they were staying in, full and happy, and started laying out their futons for the night. Keishin set up between Takinoue and Shimada, just like he had every year since their first training camp as freshmen. It was bittersweet, knowing he only had a few more of these camps left with everyone, but he figured he'd enjoy it while he still could.

"Third years get the first bath!" Mori announced. Keishin gathered his towel and toiletries and went with the rest of the seniors to the bathroom. He felt a pang of disappointment when they passed Takeda on his way out of the smaller bathroom, freshly bathed but fully clothed. Dang. 

After they were all done bathing, they returned to send the second years to the bath, and laid down. Even with the first years still chattering around them, Keishin soon drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

\---

"Keishin!" Coach Ukai called at the beginning of their hour-long break from drills the next day. 

"What?" he replied, trying not to sound irritated. His grandpa was always making him do menial shit while the rest of the team rested.

"Go with Takeda-sensei to pick up tonight's dinner, it's a lot for just one person to haul around," the coach ordered. Keishin's heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, okay," he replied, pulling his tracksuit on over his workout clothes. He walked over to where Takeda was waiting and twirling his keys.

"Sorry Ukai-kun," Takeda chuckled. "Looks like you got drafted. This shouldn't take too long though, we just have to go across town."

"It's no problem," Keishin said truthfully. He had no objections to spending some one-on-one time with Sensei. 

"My car is around back," Takeda hummed. Keishin followed him, blushing slightly. They arrived at a simple, black car, and Takeda unlocked the doors. They got in and buckled their seatbelts, and Keishin looked out the window. Suddenly he felt shy. He was alone here with Sensei, in his car, a scenario he'd imagined more than once. Except in his imagination, this situation would often end in the backseat, with the little teacher in his lap, hands wandering everywhere... No, dammit, this was not the time to be fantasizing. He didn't need to go and get a boner in front of his teacher. Keishin bit his lip and focused extra hard on the tree outside his window, trying to distract himself.

"So, Ukai-kun," Takeda said amiably. Keishin turned. "It's too bad you've already had Japanese literature. You won't have me as a teacher." 

"Yeah, that's a first and second year thing," Keishin said. Shit. That was stupid to point out, Sensei already knew that. His cheeks reddened. "This is your first time ever teaching right?"

"Yep!" Takeda replied, shooting him a smile that made his chest tighten. "I'm brand new to all of this. I'm only 23, I'm barely older than you all."

"That's still six years older than me," Keishin said. That's right. Six years, it was too much of a gap. He couldn't be with Sensei when they were so far apart in age, and even though he knew that already, it still stung when he was reminded. 

"True, true. Say, are you planning on going to college?" Takeda asked. 

"Uh, well, I'm next in line to own the family store, so I dunno if I need it," he said. College sounded cool in some ways, but it seemed like a waste if he was already in line to run a business regardless. 

"That's fair," Takeda replied. "I think you could do it if you decided you wanted to though. You're a smart kid." Keishin felt his cheeks warm up again. He hated when Sensei called him a kid, but he absolutely loved his praise. 

"Thanks," he mumbled. "My grades aren't great though. We'll see."

"Well, it's up to you in the end," Takeda said reassuringly. "Oh look, here we are!" They pulled up to the restaurant they'd ordered dinner from, and got out of the car. Takeda paid for the food, and they started carrying the bags to the car. It smelled delicious, especially after a long day of practice, and Keishin wished he could take just a couple bites now. 

"That's the last of it," Takeda said once they loaded the last few bags into the trunk. "Let's get going Ukai-kun, hopefully you can still have part of your break." Keishin nodded and got back into the car. Why did Sensei have to be thoughtful like that? This would be so much easier if the teacher was hot but unpleasant, but no, he was the full package and it was unbearable. They drove back to camp in silence, and Keishin couldn't help feeling like he was wasting the few minutes he got to spend alone with Takeda. But he couldn't think of anything to say, so he just did what he usually did: steal glances at the teacher and scold himself for being so obsessed. 

When they got back to the lodge, they unloaded all the food and brought it to the kitchen. With everyone else still at the gym, the lodge was quiet for once. 

"Thanks for your help, Ukai-kun," Takeda said warmly once they'd gotten all the food inside.

"It's no big," Keishin mumbled, blushing lightly. Takeda gave him a thumbs up.

"C'mon, let's get back to the gym before your break is over." The teacher started that direction, and Keishin followed him, trying not to think about all the empty rooms in the lodge, and what they might have time to do there if this whole thing wasn't so impossible. He tried to avoid looking at Sensei's butt too, but he was only 17, he wasn't perfect. 

Once back in the gym, Keishin rejoined his friends, who were playing cards in the corner with a few of the second years. 

"Hey, Mori, deal Ukai in," Uchizawa said as he sat down.

"I don't even know what we're playing," Keishin said flatly.

"It's just poker," Takinoue informed him. Mori dealt him a hand, and he joined the game. It was a welcome distraction from his racing thoughts, and his friends just assumed his distant expression was a poker face, so he was safe from their prying. Keishin would survive this year one way or another, even if it was rough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor tiny Ukai. He has too many feelings, and Takeda isn't helping by being a sweetie.


	3. Unbelievable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skip time!

The rest of the school year went the same way, with Keishin pining over his advisor despite his best efforts to concentrate on volleyball and graduation. He had a feeling his friends caught on after a while, but if they did, they never said anything. Keishin was grateful for that; it was embarrassing enough having to deal with his feelings on his own, without his friends reminding him and teasing him about it.

At graduation, Takeda shook his hand and wished him luck, flashing that warm smile that always made Keishin weak in the knees. He wanted so, so badly to tell Sensei how he felt, even if the teacher couldn’t reciprocate. At least then, he’d know for sure, and he’d have given it a try before their paths stopped crossing. But in the end, Keishin just smiled and thanked him, and watched him move on to congratulate the next graduate. This was probably for the best, as much as it stung. If he didn’t see Takeda anymore, he wouldn’t have to deal with the nerves, the tightness in his chest, struggling to find the right words to say. He could finally move on with his life.

Keishin ended up going to college despite not originally planning on it. His grades were decent at best, but they were good enough to get him into a nearby school, so he went and enrolled in a two-year business program. He figured it would help prepare him to take over operation of the family business in the future, since his parents planned on retiring eventually, and he was an only child. Keishin actually found that he enjoyed college, and he was good enough in his selected field that other business students sometimes came to him for help with their studies. Occasionally, he wondered what Takeda would say if he knew he’d gone on to higher education. He’d probably say something sweet about being proud of Keishin, and knowing he had it in him. But luckily, thoughts about his sensei were becoming fewer, until the young, attractive teacher was just another fond memory.  
By the time he was 23, Keishin was taking on more and more responsibility in the store, and he found that now that he understood the business side of things, he quite liked managing it. He’d also started a volleyball league with some of his old friends from high school, for old time’s sake. Keishin’s life was simple, but he was happy.

“Your hair’s getting pretty long, huh?” his dad remarked as he stocked the shelves one afternoon. Keishin shrugged. He’d stopped buzzing it a few years back, and it had grown into a thick, black fringe that nearly reached his eyelashes, and was just past his earlobes on the sides.

“I kinda like it,” Keishin said around the cigarette in his mouth. He’d picked up that habit a few years back, when college exams had been stressing him out. “I’ve actually been thinkin’ of dyeing it blond.”

“Ha! That would be a sight,” his dad chuckled. “People might think you’re a thug, though. You’ve already got those earrings, now.”

“It’s not like I need to make a good impression,” he pointed out. “I don’t need to interview for a job anytime soon, and most of our customers already know me.”

“Well, I’m not stopping you,” the elder said. He looked at the clock. “You know what, Keishin, you can be done for the day. We’re slow, and you’re off in half an hour anyway.”

“Sweet,” Keishin replied. “I’m going out tonight, by the way. So don’t wait up for me.” He went to the back of the store, and up the stairs to the family’s apartment. Originally he’d planned on going to the bar with Mori, but Mori had to cancel last minute and Ukai still kind of wanted to go, just to get out of the house for once. He went to his bedroom and looked in the mirror, running his fingers through his hair. His dad was right, it was getting pretty long; maybe he should get a headband or clips for work.

Later in the evening, Keishin changed into some slightly nicer clothes, and took a train into the city. It was nice to get out of town every once in a while and go somewhere livelier, he thought as he stepped out onto the busy street. He made his way to the bar he and his college friends used to frequent. It was a moderate sized place with dim lighting, and a stage where there was often karaoke. 

Keishin sat down at the bar, and was about to order a beer when a familiar laugh grabbed his attention. He turned, and his eyes widened when he saw him- Takeda-sensei was a few stools down from him, chatting with one of the bartenders. And damn, he hadn't aged a day. Keishin watched him for a moment, and he felt his cheeks warm up as he remembered all the time he'd spent mooning over this man. 

"What can I get for you?" The other bartender asked him. Keishin was startled out of his thoughts, and stared dumbly for a moment before speaking. 

"Oh, uh... Two of whatever beer is on special tonight," he said. "And give one of 'em to that guy over there. Please." He subtly gestured to Takeda, who was still oblivious to his presence. 

"Sure thing," the bartender said with a wink. Keishin blushed, and furrowed his brow. That did sound pretty suggestive didn't it? His intention was only to start a conversation with an old acquaintance, but 17 year old him would have done backflips for the chance to do something this flirty.

He watched as the bartender handed Takeda his beer, and pointed at Keishin. The teacher looked his way and smiled shyly, and Keishin couldn't tell if he was flushed from alcohol or embarrassment. Either way, Takeda came over and sat next to him after a moment's hesitation.

"Thank you for the beer," Sensei said, smiling at Keishin in the same way he always had. Yep. That was still goddamn adorable.

"No problem," he hummed. "I figured it would get your attention. How have you been?" It was hard to tell in the dim light of the bar, but he thought he saw Takeda blush darker. 

"I'm well," Takeda said. "Just needed to get away from home for an evening, I suppose. Ah- I should introduce myself. I'm Takeda Ittetsu." Keishin blinked. Sensei didn't recognize him. So was he blushing because..? 

"Ukai Keishin," he supplied. It was kind of amusing to watch the gears turn in Takeda's head, and his jaw drop.

"Ukai-kun? From Karasuno? I didn't even recognize you with your hair long like that, I thought- well, nevermind that. How are you these days?" Keishin laughed, Sensei seemed so dumbfounded. And from the sound of things, he'd thought Keishin was a stranger coming on to him. Was he going to reciprocate? Was that why he came over, red in the face? Why did Keishin even care, when he hadn't thought about Takeda in years?

"I'm good, I went to college and got a 2 year degree, and I'm working a lot at the store," he said. "What about you, I haven't seen you around town at all. Did you move?" 

"I did, I moved a couple cities over to be closer to my mom a while back. She's been ill for a long time, and suddenly got worse a few years ago so I transferred to a different school."

"Aw man, I'm sorry to hear that," Keishin said sincerely. 

"It's fine," Takeda assured him. "But I'm delighted to hear you went to college! What did you study?"

"Business," Keishin replied. "Since I'm gonna run one, and I don't wanna run it into the ground." 

"That makes sense," said the teacher. "Gosh, I can't get over how different you look. You've grown a lot, it's not just your hair! How old are you, now?" 

"I'm 23," Keishin chuckled. "And you don't look any different at all. You gotta be approaching 30 now, right? But you don't look it." Sensei was just as pretty as ever. It wasn't fair.

"Yep, I'm 29." Takeda finished his drink. "Here, I'll buy us some more drinks, since you bought the first." He ordered some sake the bartender, and Keishin found himself studying his face, the same way he used to when he was a teenager. The soft curve of his cheekbones, the slight curl of his tousled hair, his big, warm eyes... Keishin's heartbeat was picking up, and he cursed himself for being so predictable. 

Takeda didn't seem to notice his discomfort, he just handed Keishin another drink and kept on talking. It was hard to keep up with his rapidfire way of speaking sometimes, but Keishin didn't mind. Sensei was so animated, it was a lot of fun talking to him even when he babbled. 

After an hour of catching up and continually ordering drinks, Takeda was rather tipsy and Ukai was flat out drunk. He hadn't planned on getting shitfaced tonight but he was well on his way, at least he would be if the teacher kept handing him drinks. For a guy who weighed probably 130 pounds, Takeda sure was holding his alcohol well. 

"I think 'm done drinking for the night," Keishin told him after finishing his latest beer. "Any more and I'm gonna be too wasted, I don't wanna pass out on the train." Takeda patted him on the back.

"I'm sorry Ukai-kun, I probably overdid it," he chuckled. "I'm just used to drinking with older teachers. A pack of them could drink this whole bar dry." 

"S'fine. It's good to see you again," Keishin slurred. "You thought I was some random dude hitting on you at first though didn't you?" Takeda blushed brightly and looked away, adjusting his glasses.

"I- I didn't recognize you," the teacher defended. 

"It's cool," Keishin laughed. "You know I used to have the  _biggest_ crush on you in high school..." The sober part of his brain was practically screaming at him. Why the fuck had he gone and admitted that?

"You did?" Takeda asked, eyebrows raised. "Is that why you were uncomfortable around me? I thought you just didn't like me, or you were shy." Keishin looked down at his empty glass.

"Yeah, that's why. Couldn't exactly say anything, cause I was a kid and you were a teacher and all," he mumbled. "Sorry if I was standoffish."

"It's okay," Takeda assured. "Wait- so... Was that drink you bought me earlier..?"

"What?!" Keishin nearly fell off the stool. "No! I wanted to catch up, that's all, I'm not trying to pull anything." Takeda bit his lip, and Ukai cursed him this time, for being adorable. 

"So... You're not interested?" Keishin's heart stopped for a moment, and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"I..."

"Sorry," Takeda said sheepishly. "That's a question with a lot of pressure."

"Just- my inner 17 year old is imploding, gimme a minute," Ukai said. Takeda Ittetsu, the man he'd been infatuated with, and never thought he'd have a chance with, was asking him? If he was interested? His brain couldn't compute that when he was this sloshed. "Were you? Interested that is?"

Takeda pursed his lips. "...I thought you were cute, and I thought I might see where things went," he confessed. "I didn't know you were a former student of mine..."

"I'm the same age you were back then," Ukai pointed out. "It's not like I'm still a kid." He thinks you're cute, his brain cheered. He thinks you're cute he thinks you're cute he thinks you're cute!

"You're right... You're not still a kid," Takeda said shyly.

"I am interested," Keishin said, blushing bright red. He still wanted his Sensei just as much as ever, he realized. Everything he'd ever noticed about the man, his pink lips, his cute, petite form, his soft, pleasant voice... All of those wonderful things that were so out of reach were suddenly close enough he could almost touch them, and he wanted to take this chance before it was gone. 

"...You're awfully drunk," Takeda said.

"That doesn't mean I don't mean it," Keishin protested. 

"No I know... It's just probably best that you get home to your own place."

Oh.

WHAT.

"I- you, i-" Keishin sputtered. Go back to his own place. As opposed to  _going home with Takeda._ As in, Takeda would have wanted to take him home if he wasn't too drunk. For sex. Right? He'd never done this whole hookup thing before, that's what that meant, right? Oh lord. Keishin felt like he was going to blow a gasket. 

"In fact it's getting late, you don't want to miss the last train of the night," Takeda said, smiling gently. 

"Wait, i-" he said hurriedly. "I'll sober up quick if I eat something, we could just stop somewhere on the way to your place." Sensei paused, thinking about it. 

"...Okay," he agreed. Keishin's whole body felt warm. All the times he'd fantasized about this, he'd never thought he would actually sleep with Takeda. He still hadn't quite processed it. This was unbelievable.

He waited for the teacher to pay the tab, which he insisted on covering in full, and followed him out of the bar. Takeda bought him takoyaki from a street vendor, and he ate it quickly in hopes he would sober up. Keishin hadn't felt this much adrenaline in years. They rode the train back toward Takeda's hometown, and every little smile the teacher sent him made him blush all over again. He felt like a kid again, except now his wish wasn't just a wish, it was wonderful, tangible reality.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only reason ukai doesn't already have a boner is that he's too drunk at the moment lol


	4. Unabashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ukai spends the night at Sensei’s place.

Keishin woke up in an unfamiliar bed with a splitting headache, dressed in only boxers. He rubbed his eyes and tried to remember how he'd gotten here. He'd gone to the bar, met up with Takeda, oh shit they'd agreed to go home together. Was this his bed? Had they had sex? If he'd gotten laid and didn't remember it Keishin was going to be so pissed. 

He sat up, holding his head. Fuck, he was so hung over. He sleepily pulled on his clothes from the previous night, and looked around the room. There were several bookshelves, all filled with novels and textbooks. Yep, this looked like a room that would belong to Takeda. His chest felt tight, what would he say to the teacher after last night? He didn't remember a single thing after leaving the bar.

The smell of coffee reached his nose, and he glanced at the door. Coffee sounded wonderful when he was this hung over... Reluctantly, he left the bedroom, and peered into the kitchen. 

Takeda was in pajamas, eating rice and reading the newspaper. He looked up when he saw Keishin, and smiled softly.

"Good morning Ukai-kun," he said nervously. The tension in the air was thick, and Keishin wished he knew exactly why.

"What happened?" he asked. "Last I remember is leaving the bar..."

"Ah, well... I bought you takoyaki, and we took the train back here, but you threw it up in the station bathroom," the teacher began awkwardly. Keishin's face heated up. Great.

"Sorry," he mumbled. 

"No, you shouldn't be sorry," Takeda said firmly. "I should be. I was drunk last night, and very presumptuous... I behaved inappropriately and I apologize, Ukai-kun."

"Did we..?"

"No," Takeda said, looking down at his hands. "You were in no state to be giving consent. You fell asleep in my room almost immediately when we got here, and I slept on the couch."

"Oh." Honestly Keishin was kind of relieved. He didn't want his first time to be a drunken blur.

"Again, I apologize for coming on to you like I did," Takeda said quietly. "You used to be my student... I can't believe I acted that way." Keishin sat down across from him.

"Listen, Sensei," he said gently. "We were both drunk. And I was spouting off about how I was into you. We got carried away, it happens. And so what if I'm your former student, I'm an adult now and it's been like 6 years since then. So I don't really think you need to worry about that part." Takeda smiled weakly at him.

"Thank you, Ukai-kun... I still feel pretty appalled at how quick I was to invite you over for the night, though. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking so much..."

"Dude, don't feel bad," Keishin deadpanned. His face flushed. "I did like you for ages, even if it was a long time ago... You're still the same guy." Takeda bit his lip. 

"Have some breakfast, Ukai-kun," he said, gesturing at the rice cooker and the coffee that had just finished brewing. Keishin sighed, but did as he was told. Some coffee and rice would be good for his headache, hopefully. He took some of each, and sat down.

They ate in silence, with Keishin lost in thought. He couldn't tell how Sensei actually felt about him, and it was frustrating. Of course this was all very sudden, and they'd been drunk, but he wished Takeda would just talk to him about it at least. 

"Sensei," he said once they had finished eating. He ran his fingers through his shaggy hair. Takeda met his gaze, and his chest tightened again. God he was hopeless. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay? It's probably better I came here than tried to get home myself."

"I know," Takeda hummed. "You were in bad shape, sending you on a train by yourself wasn't really an option.

"But that's not why you invited me back here." Keishin's tone sounded even, but his heart was pounding. Should he just drop the subject? Probably. But he had to at least try, he'd come this far.

"No... it wasn't," Takeda admitted. He stepped closer, and Ukai felt his face grow hot again. Sensei was so close... Just a little more, and he could lean down, cup his chin... 

"I know I puked and kinda ruined the mood last night," Keishin said. "But hey, I'm still here." His words were softer now, just loud enough for the two of them to hear even though they were alone. Takeda hesitated for a moment, but nodded. 

Keishin stepped even closer, so their bodies were almost touching. His heart pounded. That beauty he'd admired in silence for so long was right in front of him, and though he'd given up ages ago, suddenly Takeda was within reach. He knew it was rushed and poorly thought out, but Keishin didn't care. He wanted the man in front of him, he always had. 

Takeda took his hand, and tilted his head toward the bedroom where Keishin had slept. The younger man felt a rush of adrenaline as he nodded and followed his former teacher back there. Sensei closed the door behind them, and finally, finally, Keishin pressed his lips to Takeda's own. His chest bloomed with warmth as the teacher kissed back; god, it was even better than he imagined all those countless times. Takeda's lips were softer than any he'd kissed before, and his subtle, distinct scent was absolutely intoxicating. 

Takeda backed him up to the bed until he was forced to bend at the knees, sitting on the mattress. "Just stop me if you're uncomfortable, Ukai-kun," the teacher instructed. Keishin cracked a smile. 

"You got nothing to worry about, there," he assured. He pulled Takeda down to kiss him again, reveling in the sweet, gentle way his partner kissed back. Oh god this was really going to happen.

"Here, let's lay down," Sensei suggested, and Keishin moved to lay back against the pillow. Takeda tugged his shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor before climbing over top of him, straddling his hips. Keishin's hands went to Takeda's waist, and he stared unabashedly. "Um... Ukai-kun?" Takeda asked shyly. 

"Mm?" Keishin hummed, slowly running his hands up and down Takeda's sides. 

"You're just- you're kind of glaring at me." Ukai blushed and quickly corrected his scowl. 

"Fuck, sorry, it's just a dumb habit," Keishin said. "I'm just kinda looking at you..." Takeda giggled, and Keishin's heart skipped a beat. 

"Do you see something you like?" he asked, his tone mostly teasing but a tiny bit insecure. 

"Yeah," Keishin admitted, hands roaming over the older man's chest. "You could say that."

Takeda leaned down and kissed him again, deeper this time, and more urgently. Keishin's hands wandered down his back, feeling every subtle dip and curve of the teacher's petite form as they went. When his hands settled on Takeda's ass, he made a small sound of surprise, and Keishin grinned against his mouth. 

"Here, let me," Sensei said, shifting off of him long enough to take off his pajama bottoms. Ukai felt his cheeks heat up again at the sight of Takeda, naked and already hard, leaning over to fetch condoms and lube from his dresser drawer. He'd imagined this lots of times, ages ago, but seeing it in person was on a whole other level. The cute prominence of Sensei’s hipbones begged to be kissed, and the taut curve of his ass was everything he'd hoped it would be. And his flushed cock... Keishin was still a little too shy to look at it for long, it felt like he shouldn't be seeing it. But simultaneously, he needed to touch it, to see Takeda come undone by his making...

"Ukai-kun, you're not allergic to latex are you?" the teacher asked casually, climbing back onto Keishin's lap like it was nothing. 

"I- n-no," he managed to stammer out. "I'm not..." Takeda uncapped the lube, and dripped a little on his fingers. He reached behind his back, and Keishin could only assume he was preparing himself. Well, no need to wonder who was topping anymore. His dick twitched at the thought; he was going to be inside Takeda soon. If this was a dream, he at least wanted it to last long enough to know how that felt...

"You can go ahead and put that on," Sensei said, pointing to the condom he'd set on the bed next to them. "This won't take me long." Keishin blushed, and nodded. Right... he'd have to be naked too. Every rational part of him said this was the next logical step, but he'd never put his body on display for someone before and it was nerve wracking. What if Sensei thought his dick looked weird? What if he was the wrong size? Keishin hesitated after tearing open the condom wrapper, and Takeda raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong Ukai-kun"

"No!" he said quickly. "I'm fine, I'm just... not used to it. I'm going." Red to the tips of his ears, he shoved his boxers down enough to expose himself, and fumbled with the condom. After a moment of trying to put it on inside out, Takeda took it with his free hand, and gently rolled it on for him. Ukai shivered, and Takeda gave him a reassuring smile. 

"There," the teacher said pleasantly. "I'm ready if you are... shall we?" He poured a little more lube onto his hand, and stroked upward on Keishin's cock to coat it. Keishin let out a quiet moan, and nodded. 

Takeda leaned down to peck him on the lips, and moved into position. Keishin gave him another little nod of consent, and he lowered himself down. 

"Ah- fuck," Keishin breathed, gripping the sheets as tight, velvety heat surrounded his length, taking him in. All the times he'd thought about what sex would be like, he'd never imagined it would be so _warm._  

"Open your eyes," Sensei instructed. He hadn't even realized he'd closed them. When he opened them, the sight of the teacher seated in his lap, face flushed and eyes half lidded, nearly knocked the wind out of him. 

"Sensei..." he murmured, unable to form a thought more coherent than that. Takeda lifted up and sunk back down again, and Ukai saw stars. 

"Aah..." the teacher sighed, tilting his hips a little as he moved, starting a steady rhythm. Keishin's head tipped back and he groaned insatisfaction. This was almost too much, his senses were flooded with so much pleasure. "Ukai-kun please, can i go faster?"

"Yeah," Keishin said breathlessly. "Please do..." Takeda nodded and picked up the pace, rolling his hips a little with each upstroke now. He moaned again, louder this time, and Keishin couldn't stop himself from jerking his hips upward. 

"Haa-" Takeda let out a startled noise, and Ukai cursed himself. 

"Shit, sorry, i didn't mean to do that," he said quickly, but Takeda shook his head. 

"No no, do it again," he urged. Ukai was more than happy to obey, bucking up into him and earning a gasp from his former advisor. Takeda was moving even faster now, practically bouncing on his lap, and Keishin knew he wasn't going to last long like this. He kept moving with Takeda, kept drawing those beautiful moans and cries out of him, and with every motion he felt closer to the edge. 

"Sensei," he said, voice shakier than intended. "I'm- I'm getting close." Takeda nodded and dropped down particularly hard, pulling a breathy moan from Keishin. 

"Go ahead," the teacher told him, gripping his own cock to start jerking himself off. Ukai touched his hand, silently asking for permission to do it for him, and Takeda happily let him. As soon as his hand started dragging along Sensei’s shaft, the motion of his hips became much more erratic, pushing Keishin closer to the edge. 

"Sensei- Sensei, god-" he gasped, hitting his peak with one last thrust into his partner. He gripped the bedsheets for dear life with his free hand, and sped up with the other, wanting, needing to see Takeda in the throes of orgasm.

"Ukai-kun I'm there," the smaller man cried, arching back and shooting onto Keishin's stomach and chest. Once he was completely spent, he slumped forward, supporting himself with his hands on either side of Ukai's shoulders. 

"Shit, Sensei," Keishin said breathlessly. He leaned up just enough to peck Ittetsu on the lips before falling back again. Neither of them said much for a few minutes while they caught their breath.

Eventually Takeda climbed off of him and started cleaning him up with tissues, even gingerly removing his condom for him. Keishin caught him by the wrist once everything was disposed of and tugged him back down, hugging him affectionately. 

"Ukai-kun at least pull the covers out from under us," the teacher giggled. Ukai grumbled to himself, but complied, shifting so the two of them could snuggle up under the comforter. Takeda laid his head on his chest and sighed happily.

"Comfy, Sensei?" he asked softly. He was beginning to feel drowsy even though he'd just woken up. 

"Mmhmm," Takeda hummed, closing his eyes. He was already drifting off, Keishin realized. How precious. He pressed a kiss to the top of Takeda's head, and hugged him just a little bit closer, before sleep took them both. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this chapter was so late, I've been really busy with my birthday and cons! I just had ohayocon, and katsucon is coming up, so I've been pretty preoccupied. Thanks for being patient!


End file.
